


Body Swap Episode

by DMisforDaddyMaster



Series: DnDads Telephone Game Fics [5]
Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DMisforDaddyMaster/pseuds/DMisforDaddyMaster
Summary: Time dilation is a confusing thing, even more so between separate realms, but every once in a while things sync up. It is a rare, miraculous event and it happens in two separate aquariums when Killa DeMall and Beth May catch glimpses of their distorted reflections in the rounded walls of the tunnel.In near perfect unison (though neither can hear the other), both say “That’s not me.”
Series: DnDads Telephone Game Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886971
Kudos: 7





	Body Swap Episode

The Four Knights tournament is rough and completely unforgiving. There are times, however, in between the fights and the stress, that the hosts house overnights in the tournament hall. This night is one of those, each of the zones changed to their most benevolent modes. The Hotties find themselves in zone A, the Aquarium, and the halls are quiet save for the gentle noise of water sloshing.

This space is Killa’s favorite of them all. The glowing, blue walls welcome them all inside, completely made of water, held up by a magic that nobody quite understands. The magic holds firm no matter who, or what, tries to breach them, and Killa loves to skate through, a hand dragging against the water, turning around to watch the echoes ripple backward, deeper into the tank. It reminds her of a home she may not have ever known. Yeet, forever carefree, tries to do tricks off the walls, forgetting that wheels don’t work on water, and ending square on his face every time. Tonight’s no different, but this time, when Yeet trips over, their newest young recruit, Grant, laughs and goes over to help him up.

Killa doesn’t catch her brother’s reaction in favor of heading to the left towards the shark tunnel. It’s easily her favorite spot in the entire place—they haven’t fought too many times here, but often does she think about her strategy when the time comes. The sharks are mostly benevolent creatures, and if Killa accidentally fell in, she’s sure nothing would happen. But there are spells to make anyone or anything turn against someone, and she’s learned them. A hunter shark swims close to Killa’s right side, and she resists the urge to reach out and run a hand over its body. The last thing this family needs is another prosthetic.

At the end of the hall, something sits. Killa draws a knife and approaches, slowly, revealing a futuristic-looking rectangle that Killa has never seen before. The screen has a large, green button, underneath some numbers already pre-punched in. She glances around and, when she spots nobody, picks it up and presses it. A song she recognizes plays while she waits.

On Earth, funnily enough, Beth May is spending a well-earned day at the Aquarium of the Pacific. It’s not something she would pick out herself, nor would she _be_ out by herself. She is ushered forward by the group of friends who love and appreciate her dearly, something that they often remind her of, even if she’s not asking for the compliment. It’s one of the things she enjoys about them.

She takes a step behind her friends onto the little conveyor belt that shuffles them through the shark tunnel, like some kind of weird, reverse sushi. A shark passes on her right (some kid makes a comment behind her about it being a cool, new shark), and her phone buzzes in her pocket. When she pulls it out, she could swear the ID flashes before settling on her more than a friend, less than a lover, Ron Stampler.

“Hey, Ron, how are you?” It’s been some time since they’ve properly seen each other, and if Beth is being fully honest, she’s a little worried about him. Ron doesn’t normally call to ask advice about vampires.

“Hello, Bethany,” a voice that sounds both like Ron and not like Ron trills through the phone. Beth quickly chalks it up to poor service, on account of being underwater in a glass tunnel. “How’s it hanging?”

“I’m good. I’m actually just out right now-” She waves her friends ahead, and continues the slow ride through the shark tunnel alone. If this is anything like Ron’s last call, she may be on the phone for a bit.

“Oh, out? How fun!”

“Yeah,” Beth agrees.

“Question for you, my dear good friend, have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day?”

Beth thinks for a moment. “Like in that Buffy episode where Buffy and Faith switch bodies?”

“Exactly like that! Wouldn’t that be _exciting_?”

A shark swims by the glass and murmurs of _oohs_ and _aahs_ break out across the tunnel.

“I mean, I guess. We could switch, that would be cool.” Life as Ron Stampler, businessman, could be fun.

“Oh, the _coolest_. But, hypothetically, let’s just say you could switch with a random person for a day. Just a total rando. Don’t you think that’d be a fun thing to do?”

Thousands of possibilities run through Beth’s head; some are fun and rowdy, others are decidedly less so, but she figures she may as well give Ron the good old _yes and_ and so she says, “Sure."

Killa is on hold, although Killa doesn’t know that. All she knows is that a strange device is humming a jaunty tune while she wanders the shark tunnel. Yeet’s voice echoes throughout; he’s telling Grant some story of an epic skate trick he did a few months ago.

She watches the fish swim by and considers putting the box down where she found it. All it’s done so far is sing, which is really only fun for so long. Just as she properly considers putting it down, the music stops.

The sound of a loud horn blares through it, followed by the sound of birds crowing. Killa, unsure of what to do, listens. This doesn’t seem dangerous, just weird.

“Hello,” a voice says. It is high and lilting and it continues before Killa can respond. “You’ve just won a deluxe vacation package! A whole day, a whole different you! Escape the pressures of your violent adventuring life and explore a whole new world! Please press one for more information.”

Killa pulls the device away from her ear, surprised to see the surface has changed. Now there’s rows of numbers, one to nine, and she finds curiosity is getting the better of her. This is obviously a scam, like the posters around Meadowshade advertising free knighthoods. But, it’s one button. What’s the worst that could happen?

Killa presses one.

Several things happen at once, both on Earth and in Faerun. Time seems to slow, then distort, and then some unknown force begins to pull Killa DeMall through the tunnel.

And then, just as quickly as it starts, it stops. Beth stumbles, her feet on solid unmoving ground, while Killa scrambles for support as the ground beneath her begins to inch forward. Something is _wrong_ , though neither of them have figured that out yet. Unfamiliar faces surround Killa in the once quiet Aquarium. Beth, meanwhile, notices that she is virtually alone - with the expectation of a skateboarding boy and his friend. Her friends, seemingly, have gone on without her.

Then, they both turn their attention to the tunnel that surrounds them.

Time dilation is a confusing thing, even more so between separate realms, but every once in a while things sync up. It is a rare, miraculous event and it happens in two separate aquariums when Killa DeMall and Beth May catch glimpses of their distorted reflections in the rounded walls of the tunnel.

In near perfect unison (though neither can hear the other), both say “That’s not me.”

Somewhere else, in an abstract non-euclidean space hidden in a Faerun forest, Scam Likely laughs.

  
  


It takes Beth a few minutes to accept that, just like Buffy and Faith in Episode 4.16, she has _actually_ switched bodies with… someone else.

It takes her a few more minutes to fully take in her surroundings, all the little differences between the aquarium she just came from and the one she has arrived in (the scariest of which is undoubtedly the fact that the water here seems to be held in place by some type of completely invisible glass).

“Hey, Killa! Wanna show Grant our Sick Move™, or do you wanna keep playing hide and seek?”

After a few moments, Beth realises that the boy on the skateboard is calling out to her. Confidently, she begins to stride toward the others. Of course she can do a sick move! She can improvise her way through a whole podcast playing a game she doesn’t care for, obviously she can handle a mere skateboarding competition!

It is at that moment that she realises that her feet _are_ heelys.

Meanwhile in Long Beach, Killa is wandering through the Aquarium of the Pacific. She blends in perfectly, navigating the crowds, taking in all the different people in their funny clothes, with their strange devices. She finds her own futuristic rectangle (“selfie” they call it, apparently) in her pocket, and continuously spins it between her fingers, trying to figure out how to get out of this scam.

Magic doesn’t work. This seems to be a _non-magic_ world (an utterly horrifying thought). The technological brick doesn’t seem to be able to do anything either, at least not without a passcode. And her feet feel all wrong and empty. _Walking_ everywhere; how tedious!

“Heeey, Beth! There you are!”

Suddenly, Killa is surrounded by a group of people who all seem happy to see her, smiling and putting their arms around her shoulders. (Well, not _her_ shoulders.)

“We were a bit worried because we couldn’t find you there for a bit. How’s it hangin’? All good?”

Somewhere from deep within, a voice whispers to Killa, and she instantly repeats: “That’s what she said!”

There is a long, awkward pause, but then the friends start laughing hesitantly. “Hell yeah,” Killa thinks to herself. “I’m blending in perfectly!”

On another realm, the actual Beth finds out that having wheels attached to your body makes everything easier. You don’t need to learn how to “become one” with a skateboard anymore. You just, sort of, roll with it.

A mixture of anger and embarrassment on his face, Yeet groans in frustration. “How do you _keep_ fucking this _up?_ Is this a _joke_ to you Miss _Killa. DeMall!?”_ But Grant seems to be enjoying the show very much, watching the Hottie’s Sick Move™ being utterly derailed time and time again.

“Okay, okay. That was it, I swear. Come on now, let’s do this for real!” Beth exclaims.

“After he does a kickflip, you flip up on to his shoulders and do a handstand”, Beth feels like she’s being called to; the voice is unfamiliar but sounds like someone young. Following the voice’s instructions, Yeet and Beth do the most perfectly epic stunt, leaving Grant speechless. Beth hops off of Yeets shoulders, returning his fist bump as she lands.

“That’s how the Hotties do it baby!” Yeet exclaims. “Didn’t think you had it in ya after all those wipeouts Killa.” Yeet elbows Beth in the arm.

“That was awesome! You guys are like so cool! How did you do that?” Grant begins asking excitedly.

“Master stunt performers never share their secrets to newbies, but you’re pretty cool so I think we can make an exception.” Yeet looks to Beth to get her input, not noticing Grant’s blushing face.

“Oh yeah... _bro._ How about you tell him while I go do something over there.” Before Yeet has time to answer, Beth rolls her way back to the spot where she first found herself here. Yeet and Grant share a confused look but it isn’t long before Beth begins to hear Yeet loudly explaining the sick trick to Grant.

While walking through the strange new aquarium, Killa starts thinking about that voice she heard. Trailing behind the group she’s with, Killa tries to somehow reach out to the voice. The magic, or lack thereof, in this world is strange. She’s used to the feeling of energy constantly buzzing around her, making her skin tingle. So it comes as a surprise when the familiar feeling conjugation magic washes over her. She breaks away from the group, making up the excuse that she needed to use the bathroom, as she follows the trail of magic back to the shark tunnel.

Beth has never meditated before. However, that felt like the right move in this weird and strange situation she finds herself in. Gazing up at sharks of all different species, some she doesn’t recognize, Beth finds some comfort in the way their shadows crossed over her. Sitting down criss-crossed on the cool ground, Beth closes her eyes and focuses on the voice that called out to her. 

“Hello? Voice in my head, are you there?” Beth calls out into her mind. No reply. “You spoke to me not even five minutes ago and now you're silent. Lame, dude.” Beth signs, opening her eyes. Watching the reflection of the water dance on the floor, Beth wishes she could go back home. These kids were cool, and having heelys for feet was _really_ cool, but she misses her friends and cat and Boreanaz. When she feels like she’s going to be stuck here forever, the voice calls back.

“Hey, whoever you are. I think I know a way to fix this, just follow my instructions.” 

Despite expecting it, the sudden voice that was distinctly not her own in her mind made Beth jump. “Okay,” She dragged out the word forcing herself to focus. “What is it you need me to do? To fix this.” Beth gestured with her hand to the air. Before remembering that whoever this person was, probably the owner of this body, Killa was it?, could not see her.

“I’ll need you to repeat after me. We’re going to cast...” Killa trailed off. Fuck. What _could_ she cast? Could she even cast a spell in this world?

That thought was put aside for future worrying if this plan didn't work. Conjuration. Okay, what conjuration spells would work to transport them through the- “Hello?” Shit she was in the middle of a conversation wasn't she. “Yes! Sorry uhm where was I... I’ll need you to repeat after me. We’re going to cast a spell and get ourselves home.” The ‘probably’ she tagged onto the end wasn't audible to Beth.

The arcane words that the voice in her brain spoke were strange. They twisted like worms in her brain but this mouth was used to the words and their obvious power. It made sense this world had magic. What with the skateboard and heelys for feet and the invisible glass it made sense. 

The incantation was finished with a snap and the world spun. And... they were home.

Beth’s eyes. Her own eyes. Opened to see the lit tunnel and sharks that were at least vaguely familiar from being seen in passing. She was home again. A group of familiar faces made their way down the tunnel towards her. They all spoke at once and Beth heard more than one. “Where were you?” And, “we thought you disappeared!” 

A universe away, Killa DeMall let out a sigh of relief that her spell worked. “Hell yeah! Let's fucken go!”

She pumped her arms into the air, spinning up from the ground to jump excitedly. The noise of her celebration was enough to attract the attention of Yeet and Grant who came running (and skating) down the tunnel. 

Beth grinned as she stood, having to catch herself on the wall. It was weird how quickly brains got used to stuff, like heelys in your feet. She was once again surrounded by friends and they made their way out of the tunnel. Beth knowing that there were worlds beyond her own.... maybe she should give Ron a call.

Killa’s smile was wide as she tugged Yeet into a hug, offering an arm to Grant if he wanted to join. He did. “We thought another team snuck in and gotcha."

Killa pffted and pushed Yeet away. “Me? I would take them down with no effort. Now let's go win this game!”

And so three kids, one walking and two skating along, made their way through a tunnel to go beat some ass.

**Author's Note:**

> Characters: NPC Beth May and Killa DeMall  
> Setting: Aquarium  
> Complication: Body swap. 
> 
> Nice job, team.


End file.
